Back Of The Bottom Drawer
by Unwritten Whispers
Summary: With her husband sleeping one night, Hermione pulls out that box in the back of the bottom drawer along with memories of her past: A ketchup stained napkin from Seamus that started it all, a letter from Krum, a stolen hotel key, a birthday card from Ron, Mardi Gras beads & the champagne cork that ended it all.


**Disclaimer: Characters belong to JK Rowling, and the song **_**Back Of The Bottom Drawer**_** belongs to **_**Chely Wright**_**!**

**A/N: I've been missing for over a month, and I haven't updated any of my current stories, and I won't explain it for this story because if you read any of my stories then you know why I'm taking a break, but these past weeks, this song has been on the playlist that helps me to ease my mind. Tonight, I decided to do a song-fic for this song. If you're currently reading any of my other stories, then take this as a sign! I should be back sometime next week(:**

**This is a really cute song. And this is a really cute couple! And this story is just really cute fluff!**

Start 5-10-12 at 855pm

Back of The Bottom Drawer

_In the back of the bottom drawer_

_Of the dresser by our bed,_

_Is a box of odds and ends that I have always kept._

_But the man who sleeps beside me_

_Doesn't know it's even there – _

_Little pieces of my past_

_That I shouldn't have to share!_

It was one of those hot nights where she couldn't sleep. Her husband of seven years placed a cooling charm on their bedroom, but it was still just too hot for her to fall asleep. The ceiling fan that was turned on high right above their bed didn't really help the heat to leave her either. Struggling with the thick violet and silver designed comforter that her husband was currently wrapped up in like a burrito, she grunted out in agony when she realized that the silk material of her thigh lengthened emerald nightgown was now sticking to her creamy skin. Forcing herself out of her bed, she used the tiny little three-drawer dressed that they used as a nightstand, to help herself climb out quietly. Once her back was settled in comfortably against the bed, with her bottom settled firmly on the white shaggy carpet that her husband threw a tantrum until they brought it, she opened the bottom drawer.

Peeking back onto the bed, she smiled wistfully to herself as she heard the snorting grunt her husband released before turning his back to her. She caught a glimpse of the white blonde albino strands that was now sprawled messily on the pillows that his drool also adorned. Turning away from her sleeping husband, she turned back to the bottom drawer. Digging through the random quills, muggle pens, little notebook, gum wrappers, phone chargers, a fake wand from Weasley's Wizards Wheezes, a black leathered daily planner, and some spellotape, she found what she was searching for – the tiny crimson colored jewelry box designed with golden swirls on the top cover and silvery white flowers on the two sides of it.

This was a box filled with her past that she made sure to keep hidden from the man she lived her life with now. It was hidden so deeply in the back of the drawer and decorated so Gryffindor like, that even if he were to spot it, he wouldn't even cast it a second glance. There were little tidbits in there that she should have gotten rid of, but she didn't want to throw them away. They were her past, and her past is who she was. Pressing her lips to the keyhole – an idea that she got from Dumbledore when he gave Harry the snitch in his will – she breathed out the password, _"Vivant!"_ – the simple French word for, living. Hearing the tiny click that announced the treasured box was now open, she turned her head towards the bed once more to make sure that he was sleeping.

This was just something that she felt she didn't have to share with him. This was her past – a past that he had nothing to do with.

_A napkin that is stained with time_

_Has a poem on it that didn't quite rhyme,_

Pulling the first item out from the box, she flashed a short smile while her long slender fingers gracefully whispered over the ketchup stain left from Seamus Finnigan while on their date to Hogsmeade back in their third year – it was a secret that not even Harry or Ron knew about. Seamus noticed that she was left on her own for a while because Harry and Ron were upset that she told Professor McGonagall about the broomstick Harry received for Christmas, so he asked her out on a date to Hogsmeade, and it was in the Three Broomsticks that Seamus ordered them both a butterbeer, and a large tub of chips to share. They each made a challenge that day – she had to be lazy and carefree and he had to be studious. Her way of being lazy and carefree was keeping her hair down, not tucking in her shirt and not mentioning any class that day. His way of being studious was by writing her a poem on a napkin that he had just wiped his ketchup stained mouth on.

The poem was short, and nothing about it made any sense nor did it even rhyme, but she felt like a normal thirteen year old girl for once because here she was on her first date, and he was writing her a poem. She and Seamus continued to talk every day after that when they were alone, and they always stole a quick glance and smile in the halls, but nobody ever found out about that very first and last date of theirs into Hogsmeade. When Harry and Ron started speaking to her again, they were so immersed with helping Hagrid out with Buckbeak's trial and she was so busy with her time-turner and all her classes, then the whole thing with Sirius happened, and they just never bothered to ask her what she did throughout her isolation. They never asked, and she never told.

_But it made me cry,_

_In a Dear Jane letter from a different guy._

_He broke up with me and he told me I'm not always right._

Placing the ketchup stained napkin on the carpet beside her, she reached her hand in again and rolled her eyes at the folded up parchment she pulled out. Everyone made it into such a huge deal when Viktor Krum asked her out to the Yule Ball in her fourth year, and she gave up on trying to tell everyone that he only asked her out because she was the only one who didn't fawn all over him and scream or faint every time he walked past her in the halls. He annoyed her with his screaming fan girls, and she believed the library was a sanctuary of peace – not a place to stalk girls or to lure more screaming girls. They went to the ball together, they held hands and they danced, and he kissed her hand at the end of the night, and that was it.

It was amusing that night; hearing how many of the Hogwarts boys had a sudden different image of her, and how many of the girls suddenly felt threatened by a beauty that none of them knew existed. She remembered meeting Seamus's eyes during one of the slow songs, and the urge that she had to start laughing loudly when Lavender growled at her before pulling Seamus deeper into the throng of dancers. She and Seamus weren't sharing a glance of love or even lust though – they were both just reminiscing on their first date back to Hogsmeade, and how no matter what anyone said, the Irish lion would always be the first boy who saw her for more than just an annoying bookworm.

When the year finished, and the Bulgarians were getting ready to return to Durmstrang, Viktor pulled her on the side, and he asked if they could keep in touch. Four months later, she received a letter from him that called her a stupid know-it-all, told her she wasn't always right about everything, that she was wrong, and reminded her that it was _he_ who asked her out. Then he broke up with her. She cried at first, because he was the first boy to ever break up with her, but then she started to laugh at the entire thing. They weren't even dating. Writing another letter to him in response, she reminded him that they weren't dating – that they were only friends, and then she told him that she was right (she wasn't the brightest-witch-of-her-age for nothing, after all) and that there was no way in bloody hell could Bulgaria ever stand another chance against Ireland again. Ireland won the first time, and they would cream Bulgaria if they were to ever play against each other again.

_And a stolen key from a hotel room,_

_In the back of the bottom drawer._

Tossing the break-up letter from Viktor next to the ketchup stained poem from Seamus, she pulled out a long silver key. The key was jagged and cool to the touch, with scratched lines up along the entire thing and a tiny little heart carved into the top of it, at the end of the number 112! She stole this key for so many reasons, and had to literally bite down on her hand to stop herself from waking her husband up with her loud laughter as she traced along the jagged ridges of the key. In muggle London, they have little cards as a key for hotel rooms, but when she stayed at Hotel Frogspawn in Romania when she accompanied Harry and the Weasleys for Charlie's wedding, only three weeks after the war, she was amazed to learn that their hotel key was an actual, normal key. She and Ginny had been so amazed by the key, and shocked that they ran into a group of Slytherins who went into hiding during the war, that they both stole the Slytherin's room keys from them. Ginny had room 113's key, while she had this one. The heart carved into it was what made it even funnier – Hotel Frogspawn had a 'love' theme going on, and the entire hotel was made up of hearts. The name had nothing to do with the beautiful hotel.

_I don't keep these things 'cause I'm longing to go back_

_I keep them because I want to stay right where I'm at._

_I'm reminded of my rights and my wrongs._

_I don't want to mess this up,_

_But I wouldn't know where I belong_

_Without this box of stuff!_

Hearing a cough coming from the bed, she quickly shoved everything behind her, trying to shove them beneath the bed. Waiting until she heard the bed squeak with silent movement, she slowly turned around and peeked over the edge, with her heart slowing down when she saw that her husband was now cuddling one of her pillows with his mouth wide open. Grimacing at the trail of drool that was now being collected on her pillow, she released a sigh of relief and moved her box and, along with the three exposed items back to where she could see them.

She didn't keep these hidden from her husband because she missed Seamus or Viktor, or even that odd hotel in Romania – no, she kept these items because they helped make her who she is today. These items helped to remind her that she was once a normal young girl who did normal young girl things. These items helped to remind her that she didn't spend all of her teenage years dealing with three-headed dogs, giant chessboards, forbidden forests, death day parties, giant basilisks, werewolves, wanted serial killers, dementors, death eaters, horcruxs, Voldemort and war – the items in this box reminded her that Seamus Finnigan, the cute Irish boy in her year who had a tendency to blow things up, saw something in her and wanted to hang out with her and do normal things, like go on a date while drinking butterbeer and eating chips. Seamus didn't just want her help with his homework or to talk about what Voldemort was doing next, he wanted to talk about his home in Ireland, and laugh about how weird the wizarding world is compared to the muggle world – Seamus wanted to just be with her. This box helped to remind her that she did have another friend besides Harry and Ron, and it proved to her that all friends have arguments, even if they do pretend to break up with you, call you stupid and tell you that you're not always right, just because you don't like the Quidditch team he plays for. It also taught her that it's alright to go out with your girlfriends, laugh at stupid hotel names, and steal keys from Slytherins.

This box wasn't hiding a huge secret from her husband, that made her want to leave him and return to this past, but it helps to remind her that she wasn't only a soldier fighting a war throughout seven years of her teenaged life, but that she was also a normal teenaged girl – even if only for a short while.

_A birthday card from my first boyfriend,_

_He signed it 'I love you' so I gave in._

_Yeah, we went too far in his daddy's car._

Sighing as she picked up the next item, she shook her head and smiled fondly at the memory. It was her eighteenth birthday, only four months after the final battle had been won, and she and Ron were finally dating. He was her first and actual boyfriend. Seamus didn't count because they've only been on that one date that they never mentioned, and she constantly reminded Viktor that they were only friends, no matter how many times he had broken up with her. She went to the Burrow that morning, and everyone hugged her, kissed her cheeks, and wished her a very happy birthday. Mrs. Weasley cooked her a huge breakfast and then they had a huge party during the day, with a barbeque styled lunch. It was such a funny sight to see Harry teaching Bill and Charlie how to work a grill while Mr. Weasley asked thousands of questions, like how does it actually cook the meat. Everyone presented her with extremely well thought-out gifts that brought tears to her eyes, but it wasn't until that night that she received the best present of the day.

After dressing up all fancy-like in a backless dress with heels and makeup, she linked her arm into Ron's, and he apparated them to a fancy wizarding restaurant in the middle of London. Admiring how handsome he looked in his suit, she didn't notice how his face matched his flame colored hair until she opened the birthday card that he gave to her. It was normal muggle card, wishing her a happy birthday and many more to come, but it was when she reached the very end of it, that she gasped out in shock and admiration. He signed it 'I love you' and when she looked up at him, he simply nodded his head, and uttered the words, "I do, Hermione, I do love you!"

Staring down at the birthday card from Ron in her hands, she felt her cheeks burning up. She couldn't remember what she ate for dinner that night, and it wasn't until Ron told her a week later that the restaurants employees presented her with a slice of chocolate birthday cake that had a firework on it, that she knew they sang happy birthday to her that night. The only thing she remembered after hearing Ron tell her he loved her for the first time, was when they somehow ended up in Mr. Weasley's garage that he filled with muggle items, and in the car that he 'confiscated' from a wizard over in Bath who was experimenting on how to make it breathe fire. That was the night that they both lost their virginities while Ron made love to her for their very first time. It hurt a lot, and it didn't last very long, but it was a moment that she would always cherish forever. It was even worth being caught the next morning by Charlie and Mr. Weasley when they came out to work on the car.

_And those Mardi Gras beads from '98_

_We danced all night, stayed out so late._

Feeling her hands wrapping around a necklace, she began to smirk to herself. Back in school, her husband was one of the very people who picked on her, but it was him who gave her these very beads. Mardi Gras is a holiday that even the young witches and wizards of the wizarding world liked to celebrate, and seeing as how it was February 13, and she was currently on the hunt for Horcruxes that year, she decided to sneak away. Ron had returned, and he was with Harry so she knew they would be alright. Making sure that she had her cloak wrapped tightly around her, she left the safety of her own safety wards and went a far distance before apparating away. Making sure to go somewhere in muggle London so no one would be able to recognize her, she lost her cloak and began to just get lost in the loud music and festivities.

After what seemed like two or three hours, she heard three familiar voices and her body froze. She was confused – witches and wizards celebrated Mardi Gras in their own world, so why would these three be in the muggle world? She was just about to hide until she realized that they all spotted her. Instead of cursing her like she thought they would, they all smirked and made their way over to her. It was Malfoy who decided to taunt her. Nott and Zabini both mocked her extremely revealing outfit which consisted mostly of just her bra and shorts that were way too short for her, but it was Malfoy who sneered that she must have magicked the beads around her neck out of nothing, because there was no way a prude like her would have earned beads. Proving them wrong, she tore off her bra and began to dance in the middle of muggle London, completely topless. It was the first time she's done something so carefree, so wild, so free, and she loved it. Nott and Zabini both began to cheer and dance in circles around her while throwing their own shirts off, but Malfoy was too stunned by her actions. Taking his own black t-shirt off, he covered her bare bouncing breasts with it then handed her a silver and emerald beaded necklace. Placing it around her neck, he leaned in and whispered, "You and your stupid Gryffindor bravery," with a smirk of her own, she bent down, picked up her bra, stuffed it into his pocket then whispered back, "Sorry Malfoy, I don't have any beads to give you," before he could say anything back though, she disapparated back to Harry and Ron, praying they wouldn't wake up and see her completely topless, and making sure to hide all the evidence before Harry woke up for his turn to keep lookout.

_We thought we were stars, closing down the bars._

_The champagne was cheap, but I've still got that cork_

_In the back of the bottom drawer._

Finally, she came across the final item in her box – a tiny little brown cork that Pansy Parkinson somehow managed to blacken Seamus's eye with one night when she opened the champagne bottle. After seven months of dating, she broke up with Ron, feeling like they were going nowhere. Come to find out, Ron was relieved and told her that he was going to wait until the day after Christmas before ending it because he was starting to see her as only a sister again. A week later, she ran into Seamus in the store and he told her that he was currently dating Pansy. When she explained about her and Ron's breakup, he invited her to a night out with him, Pansy, Zabini, and Malfoy. He begged her to come and said that it would be a huge relief to not be the only Gryffindor there. After asking if she could bring Ginny along, she gave in.

Ginny and Zabini instantly began to click because they loved to argue about everything. Pansy surprisingly took an instant liking to Hermione and insisted that they act like muggles all night, which was when they decided to go barhopping all along muggle London. They were three bars in when the three girls started to dance on the bar tops, earning whistles from every single male and a couple of females, while earning tips for more alcohol. They were five bars in when Ginny and Zabini disappeared, but not before giving their friends a very erotic show, and they were seven bars when they got kicked out for being 'too drunk.' Seamus and Malfoy seemed to be having too much fun though, just like Hermione and Pansy, who were linked in by the arms and swaying everywhere while giggling about something that even they couldn't understand.

Running into the nearest liquor store, Malfoy brought about five bottles of the cheapest wine that he could find, and they all drunkenly apparated to Seamus's flat that he usually shared with Dean Thomas. Pansy insisted on opening the first bottle, but the cork landed in Seamus's eye and deciding to make it up to him, she dragged him into his bedroom. She and Malfoy looked at each other only once before they both started laughing. Once the groans started though, Malfoy instantly grabbed her hand with a darkening hunger in his eyes. The next morning, she left Malfoy's arms and went back to Seamus's flat, asking for the cork that hit him in the eye.

Seamus only nodded his head, in a curious understanding.

_I'm not trying to hide these things from the man I love today._

_But I'm a better woman for him, thanks to my yesterdays._

Her husband could find her box of hidden treasures, and she wouldn't be ashamed of them. It wasn't that she was actually hiding them from him, but she knew that he wouldn't understand any of the items. He might recognize the beads, and he might even recognize the cork that brought them together, but he wouldn't understand her need to keep them. If it weren't for those items in the box, she would lose a part of herself, a part of the past her that even she had a hard time in believing. She's spent so many years being part of the golden trio, that she hardly had any time to just be herself – to just be Hermione Granger.

In a way, she felt like she owed her life to Seamus Finnigan – the way that most of the wizarding world felt they owed their life to Harry Potter. Seamus would never realize it, but he was the one who saved her. It was Seamus who helped her create her own identity. Seamus was the very first boy who had ever asked her out on a date – it's his ketchup stained napkin with the un-rhyming poem that she first saved. It was Seamus's napkin that created this whole box. Seamus was the first person to make her feel like something other than just one third of the golden trio. To everyone else, it was a package deal. To everyone else, it was if you had one of them you had the other two, but not to Seamus – Seamus asked Hermione out that day. Not Harry, not Ron, just Hermione. Every item placed into that box since then was added in for the only other time that Hermione felt like an individual.

The letter from Viktor was her first fight with a friend that only she had. Viktor wasn't friends with Harry or Ron – they didn't even like each other. Viktor was her friend, and only her friend, and they had gotten into their first real argument over something that didn't involve Voldemort, or someone trying to kill Harry. The key was the first time that she's done something silly like sneak into a hotel room filled with Slytherins, and steal it from their table top while they were all sleeping. The card was when she first became a woman – Ron told her he loved her for the very first time, they went to a fancy restaurant and ate a fancy dinner, then they made love. The beads were the first time she just let her hair down, and went bare chested while dancing in the center of her three enemies who at that time, she thought wanted to kill her. She didn't have Harry or Ron with her because she snuck out of their tent while they were sleeping, and she did something dangerous on her own. This wasn't even a life threatening dangerous, it was the normal teenager type of dangerous, and in the end, she flashed a city full of stranger, and three boys that she's hated since she was eleven.

Then there was the final item in the box – the very last item to be placed inside of it. Another item that had to do with Seamus. If it weren't for that very cork hitting Seamus in his eye, then he and Pansy would have never ditched them to shag, and Malfoy would have never took her hand and took her back to his place. She would have never spotted her bra from that Mardi Gras night next to his bed, and they never would have shagged that night either. He never would have marked her entire body with his teeth, marking her as his; challenging anyone to try and steal her from him. The cork represented the last time that she was an individual.

Putting all the items back into the box, she smiled to herself. It was ironic how the box all started with Seamus helping her to become an individual and learn to do things on her own, and how it all ended with Seamus helping her find her way into the arms of the man who would make sure she never felt the urge to be alone again.

When the first item was placed into the box, she was one third of the golden trio seeking to become Hermione. When the final item was placed into the box, she was the Hermione who was no longer seeking for anything.

Shutting the box up, and kissing it in honor of all the memories, she stuffed it back into the back of the bottom drawer and stood up.

When the box first started, she was Hermione Granger.

When it all ended, she became Hermione Malfoy.

_So now I try to give more than I can take,_

_And I bite my tongue; fight the urge to say it's my way_

_Or no way at all._

_And now I cherish love a whole lot more_

_'cause of what's _

_In the back of the bottom drawer!_

Pau 5-10-12 at 1127pm

**This is rated T, because I'm paranoid? I'm used to posting only M-rated stuff, so I don't know? I googled it and found that in 1998, Mardi Gras was on Feb. 13, and I know that Hermione is a year older than everyone else because she started Hogwarts a year late, but I like to pretend that never happened. And I also know that the whole sneaking out during the hunt just to party isn't like Hermione, or the whole her throwing off her bra thing, but I actually love that side of her, and it fits in this story. Yes, I have a huge thing for Seamus/Pansy and Blaise/Ginny that I just had to have them mentioned in here, and I also just really admire Seamus which is why this is circled around him a lot.**

**But what do you guys think of this? I haven't written literally anything in nearly 2 months, and this is the first thing I came up with… I'm quite proud of it actually, and it has only like one or two curses in here, no smut and not even a make-out scene, which is usually the only thing I write – not even drama is in here. It's just a cute little fluff thing with memories of Hermione trying to be an individual! So review please, I'm really looking forward to what you guys think of this(:**


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